If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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