Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
