Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
