the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
