i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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