Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
