he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
