I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize