I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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