I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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