Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
