Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
