Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
