please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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