i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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