what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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