Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
