Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
