I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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