My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
