I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
