This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Randomize
