Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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