his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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