Whod you bang
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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