Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
