If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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