And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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