I can't watch pbs sober anymore
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
