I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
