Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
