I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i dont even know how to be here
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
