Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
