I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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