Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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