remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
