There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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