This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize