Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
