**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You can't motorboat a personality
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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