Already got asked if we're dating
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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