If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
