if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
