Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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