I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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