i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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