32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
