He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
