Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think your dad took our porno
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
