A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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