A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think people are normalizing furries
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
