is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
