She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.