physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.