The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so let's talk penis.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
