Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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