break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
