I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He? As in you personified your dick?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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