hotel room ftw
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dicks are not precious.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
