you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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