so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
