sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
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