If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it glows. i had to have it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
