Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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