I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
