It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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