I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
