we're blogging at a bar
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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