the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
